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11 February 2008 @ 11:49 pm
 
Who: Tenten (draconic_edge and Temari (angry_breeze)
What: TemaTen: THE MUSICAL~!
When: Backdated to January 19th, 2008.
Where: Konoha Fashionistas' cafeteria.
Warnings: Singing women, quoting from video game songs and other random nonsense. If you can point out all references, you get an internet.
Open?: Nope. Log. Done.


It was rather funny that in the whole cafeteria Konoha Fashionistas had to offer its employees, the only place where there was a rather long, long line was the salad bar. Not only did the models (both the female and male) line up to claim a few pieces of green leaves and carrots, but many of the office workers did as well. And while Temari thought this was really quite hilarious, she felt sort of hypocritical as she made the line, having decided that if she was going to eat take out at ten every night for dinner, she might as well have something close to healthy in her system for lunch.

There was a bit of a commotion near the front of the line, and a sudden wail (from a model, naturally) let the entire cafeteria know that her favorite salad had been sold out (What a disaster, Temari thought sarcastically, not at all moved by the hysterics). As the blonde turned her head away, she caught sight of the woman behind her, face a mask of disgust.

If they thought this food was healthy, they had another think coming. As she scowled at the pathetic excuse for salad, Tenten made a mental note to have a chat with the executive in charge of providing food in this place. Iceberg lettuce? Please. Yeah, so it had like, negative two calories, it also had absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever. It was mostly water. The health articles didn't recommend leafy greens for nothing. Leafy did not equal hard, crunchy, watered down, and lacking every nutrient a salad could lack. She wasn't even going to touch the subject of required mix-ins or dressing. [Half the supposedly "healthy" salad dressings were so high in fat they could give a baby a cardiac arrest.]

The brunette critically surveyed the racks and their meager offerings, trying to find a salad that was at least remotely nutritious, when she noticed that the woman in front of her was looking in her direction.

Her face donned a cheery smile as she peered back at the blonde. Tenten didn't recognize her from anywhere [and she had a pretty good memory when it came to people,] so she assumed that she was either new to the office, or was visiting. Figuring it would be impolite to just stare, Tenten greeted the foreign girl. "Hey, I don't remember seeing you around. You new here?"

“I guess you can say that,” Temari responded, trying to muster up a smile of her own but failing miserably. She didn’t know many people at KF (not that she wanted to, or anything), so she wasn’t the least bit surprised that the woman had asked her if she was new, even if she had been roaming the hallways for at least two months.

She turned around fully, ignoring the irritated sigh the guy in front of her heaved when she accidentally bumped him. Extending her right hand, she said, “I’m Sabaku no Temari. I hate this place. The salads suck. I want to kill my coworker. Who might you be?”

Ah, Temari had always been one for first impressions.

There were about thirty straight seconds of silence before a wide grin split the surface of Tenten's face. "Long Tenten, at your service." She took the other woman's hand and shook it firmly, laughter sparkling in her dark eyes. "Pleased to meet you."

There was a brief pause, and Tenten leaned over, peering behind Temari, noting the progression of the line. "Uh, you might want to--" She substituted words for a simple finger, raised and pointing behind her in an attempt to bring the blonde's attention back to the line of people.

Temari narrowed her eyes for a second, wondering what Tenten was possibly getting to, when someone behind Tenten yelled, “Get a move on!” Scowling, she turned back to the line, taking two steps forward, the line having progressed very little. Only a few people left. Soon, she could get her horribly-tasting greens and not feel any kid of guilt when she ate through the two cartons of greasy food later that night.

Instead of turning around again, Temari angled her body towards Tenten so she could still keep an eye on the line. “How long have you been working here?” While it was unusual for her to be so intent on keeping up conversation, days of solitude and arguing with a certain lazy bum made her crave some sort of interaction with others of the normal human species. She just hoped she didn’t come out as totally psycho to the Tenten girl.

"A year or two," the brunette responded casually. "It's fun. Stressful, annoying, horribly casual, but fun." After a moment, she added, "Pay's good too. I can live in a house bigger than one hundred square feet now." A breezy chuckle. "And pay off my college fees."

Tenten shot a scrutinizing gaze at the salad line, wishing there was something she could actually consider healthy in the mix-up. "What about you?"

“Here?” Temari paused in her answer as she took another step ignoring the look she was getting from the guy in front of her, who was now turning to give her glares at random intervals of time. “Maybe two months, give or take a few days. I worked somewhere else for… a really long time. My brother’s magazine.” She didn’t feel it was necessary to go into all the details, since she didn’t know most of them herself and would probably end up boring anyone listening.

"Ahhh..." Tenten wasn't exactly sure how she had managed to miss the foreign executive for such a long period of time, she was normally quite social and tried to make everyone feel welcome. Finally, she spotted a salad that looked somewhat acceptable, and extended her hand, reluctantly setting it on her tray.

"You mentioned something about a coworker. Which incompetent douche did you get the misfortune of being stuck with?"

In a matter of two seconds flat, Temari’s face went from calm and collected to scowling and incredibly pissed off. It was the usual face she had when any mention of her coworker was brought into a conversation or her thoughts.

“Nara Shikamaru,” she ground out through her teeth, eyes scanning the available salads and deciding on the one that had a lot of green in it. She vaguely wondered if there were any possible ways in killing someone with vegetables.

A jovial chuckle slid from Tenten's throat, and she turned her head to grin at the blonde. "The lazyass? Poor you. I hear he does his work good, at least. Mind if I ask why it's so painful for you to put up with him?"

There were many answers Temari could have provided. For starters, there was the very fact the young man was a lazy bum who seemed incapable to working up the effort to do anything. Then there was the fact that they seemed unable to get along; he always had something to complain about her, and she always had something about his work ethics or his smoking to yell about. And then there was the tiny little fact that ever since that night, they'd been avoiding each other and pretending the other didn't exist.

"He's annoying," was Temari's brilliant answer.

Dumbfounded didn't even begin to cover it. "Annoying?" Tenten cast the blonde a withering look. "Temari, fire burns in your eyes when you mention anything pertaining to him. For some unfathomable reason, I can't find the will to believe that that is the only reason you hate him." She paused to gently nudge the woman backwards a few steps, avoiding from incurring the wrath of the wankers behind them.

"Naruto is annoying. Ino is annoying. Lee, bless his heart, is annoying. I have a feeling," Tenten grinned, "That this Nara Shikamaru is a little more than annoying."

Temari glared at Tenten, trying to reason with herself that knocking the younger woman out would not be a good course of action, as much as she preferred it to be. To stifle the violent tendency, she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Hurting a coworker was not a good idea. No, no it was not.

"You're right. He's very annoying."

"Sure thing," Tenten snorted. "When you start believing that, call me, and I might too."

She lifted her hand to her chin thoughtfully, "It's almost like those bad romance novels. You know, the ones where--"

"Finish that sentence," Temari began threateningly, not caring who could be overhearing her threat, "and I'll end you."

So much for self control.

The threat did little to damper the brunette's mood, and instead she just giggled lightly, reaching over to pat the blonde on the shoulder, oblivious [or merely undaunted] to the fact that she was risking getting her arm savagely ripped off. "You know Temari, they say denial is the first step to acceptance~" she sing-songed.

Temari reasoned that there was a first time for everything, and while she didn't necessarily want to kill the brunette, an angry woman in denial had to do what an angry woman in denial had to do. And Temari was going to have to, rather unfortunately, kill her.

Just as she planned the many ways she could go about doing it (for some reason, the image of a large, iron fan slamming into the woman's body kept recurring in her mind), another thought occurred to her, resulting with a heavy, sinking feeling that made Temari hesitate in her planning.

Was it that obvious that there was more than just intense hate when it came to how Temari felt about Shikamaru? Could it possibly be that others could see what was going on? Horrified at the notion that everyone around her could be in on the One-Night-Stand-with-Coworker-and-Perhaps-Developing-Something-Like-Feelings that Temari was experiencing, she turned back to Tenten.

"What do you mean?"

Now, Tenten was not a stupid woman. She may be slightly dense at times, but she could spot murderous rage when she saw it. This being said, she also knew when it was smart to do this wonderful little thing called playing dumb.

Blinking none too innocently at the livid blonde, the bun-haired girl gave her a slightly confused look, tilting her head to the side in an overplayed, yet assuredly effective manner. "... Huh?" Step number one to avoid being smashed by homicidal blonde business-women: Feign Ignorance.

"Oh, nothing." She smiled playfully. "I was just messin' with you." Step number two: Make a bullshit, yet believable, excuse. Next came step three: Brush it off. Noticing that they were finally at the cashier, who seemed to be debating over whether to alert Temari or not, Tenten beamed brightly and weaved in front of the blonde, handing the cashier her money and muttering, 'keep the change' before turning towards the tables in search of a seat.

Crisis averted; physical bodily harm no longer imminent.

Mission: Success.

Temari glowered at Tenten's back before turning to the cashier, handing him her money and making sure he got the message that she was not very pleased, and if he made one comment about how she was holding up the line, his balls were in danger. Satisfied by the look of pure fright the man gave her, she took her salad and turned back, fighting down the instinct to chuck the tray at the bobbing head that would do well with replacing the spiky haired idiot she wanted to strangle.

"I'm not an idiot," she told the brown haired woman, her tone dripping poison. "I'm sure that trick works lovely with your male coworkers, but you're going to have to try a little harder with me. Or at least hand me some alcohol before you start."

Spotting an empty table (for two, and Temari had to wonder if life was simply out to get her), she made her way to it and slammed her things down. Whether or not Tenten chose to join her was completely up to the woman, but it didn't really matter. Whether she ran away or chose to keep walking on eggshells didn't really matter to the blonde. Either way, she could satisfy her need to torture someone or find out more about the lazy coworker she would never admit to liking.

Snickering, Tenten followed the enraged she-devil to the table and plopped her tray down, glancing at the blonde for any sign of aversion to her presence before she sat down. "Okay, okay, you caught me. That usually works on Ino. And most of the male population. Too busy staring at my tits to realize that I just made them look like a gullible twat."

She sent an amiable smile at the woman before her, "Really though, I didn't mean anything by it. I was just being difficult."

"Difficult?" Temari repeated, arching an eyebrow in question. "I think that's a bit of an understatement. You were being an annoying little bitch." Sort of like someone else I know...

Picking at her salad, immediately removing certain vegetables she couldn't stand or bits that looked questionable, she glanced briefly back at Tenten, taking in her generic brown hair and eyes, the generic features typical to an Asian woman, and wondered if she knew her from somewhere else. She looked oddly familiar, despite the fact that she looked vaguely similar to many other women all over the Orient.

"You seem familiar."

Raising one eyebrow, Tenten peered at Temari. "You kinda do too. But I'm not all that unique-looking, so it might just be a coincidence."

Temari nodded. "Right. Coincidence." She was about to turn her glare back to her salad when she was suddenly hit with recognition.

"What high school did you attend?"

She took a bite of her salad before replying. "Aperture Science Academy. You?"

Temari's eyes widened, but only slightly. "Same. Year of 2001, what about you?"

Blinking, Tenten murmured, "Year of 2003. Two years after you."

"That sounds more than just a coincidence. Were you in advanced placement or something? I swear I remember you from--"

"... Yeah... Kisuke-sensei's Advanced Algebra class, right? The boys always used to say shit about your brothers, and you would beat the crap out of them when the teacher left the room..."

The blonde winced at the memory. She'd been that violent? She could hardly remember high school without bringing up the memories of arguing with her father, dealing with a slightly psychotic baby brother and a rebellious teenager who wasn't interested in listening to reason.

"Right." She went back to poking at her salad. "Is that how everyone remembers me?" she asked, amusement creeping into her voice.

Tenten smiled lightly. "Only if you give them reason to, I guess. You weren't... that... bad..."

"That bad?" Temari said, smirking wickedly. "Come to think of it, I remember beating a lot of people up. In fact, you look like this one girl I--"

And that's when Temari realized why Tenten looked so horribly familiar. She'd been one of the many people she beat up. She was sure of it.

"Uh..." Just how awkward would it be for her to bring up that she may or may not have been the really angry senior who decided Tenten was that Friday's victim? "You don't remember if I...?"

There was a long, extended pause. A pause in which Tenten remembered smarting off to an angry-looking upperclassman with freak-ass spikey blonde hair because said blonde was harrassing one of her friends. Tenten also remembered getting slammed up against the wall and getting the shit kicked out of her, despite her attempts to fight back or use her blades. [She recalled that one of her favourite knives had ended up getting broken--stepped on, most likely.] To sum it up, as if the black eye and bruised sternum wasn't enough, she had almost gotten in major trouble for having weapons in school.

And after that pause, Tenten was left wondering in mild horror if the freak-ass spikey-haired blonde chick had indeed been the woman she was now chatting amiably with. Oh. Shit.

"Um. I--uh... Think I..." She swallowed hard, before shooting Temari a half-hearted grin. "You have quite the left hook, I recall."

A rather smug smile made its way onto Temari's lips. "It came with practice. Sorry, by the way," she added, not sounding too sorry at all.

Tenten scratched her head in a somewhat nervous gesture. "No problem. I'm not much better, though. I've knocked the hell out of quite a few people in my time, too. You just happened to be one of the few that uh, was able to hand me my ass." She took a bite of her salad. "Then again, most of my victims were men. As I recall, you never seemed to discriminate."

"Even though you broke my heart and killed me~" Temari sang, completely off topic, but very happy.

Tenten looked at Temari like she was crazy, and replied, "There's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake!

"I'm not even angry," she continued. "I'm being so sincere right now." She munched her salad good-naturedly.

"I'm torn into pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy," Temari agreed.

"That was a joke. Ha. Ha. Fat chance."

"Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist," Tenten commented. "Look at me, still talking when there's science to do!" She slapped her forehead. "I've experiments to run, and there's research to be done on the people who are still alive!"

Temari's eyes widened, pointing whatever eating utensil she was using at that moment, because honestly, do people eat salads with chopsticks? "When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you!" She nodded sagely. "And believe me, I'm still alive. While you're dying, I will be still alive."

"And, when you're dead, I will be still alive!" Tenten interrupted. There was a short pause before Tenten mumbled absently, "You know, I never had a love like this..."

"We were cool back in high school. Oh! I really liked you," Temari informed the unsuspecting brunette, winking in the process.

"Must have been your attitude," Tenten nodded. "My friends they always told me not to make you my wifey, man, they was puttin' you down." She shook her head disbelievingly.

"And now they see we rollin', me and you, we strollin'," Temari added, suddenly pulling out her gangster bandana and heavy silver chains with various symbols that could have easily gotten her shot were she walking somewhere in Harlem.

Standing up, Tenten put her hands on the table, and declared loudly, "You’re the only one that knows me, I love it when you hold me!" She paused, before adding, "But just so you know, I'm not gonna write you a love song."

"That's alright," Temari informed her, going back to her salad. "You probably suck at songwriting."

Sighing, the brunette sat down, "Yeah, I never was much of a lyricist."

Temari nodded. "I'm sure people would call that a moment of comic relief."

"They probably would. If you notice, half the cafeteria is looking at us like we're mad." She grinned. "You wanna start stripdancing on the tables, just to seal the deed?"

Shrugging, Temari dropped her fork--or was she really using chopsticks?--and reached up to start undoing her shirt. "I guess. How much worse can it get?"

And so, that is how both Temari and Tenten, old high school buddies who probably didn't like each other, became best buddies and dashed any and all hopes of being taken seriously.
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yamanaka ino: pink ♥ ||efflore on February 12th, 2008 09:45 am (UTC)
LOL CRACK MUCH??? XD

*: 【이동해】 » but why is the rum gone?pureuda on February 12th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
SOPDINFOSDINFODSI HI WHY ARE YOU MADE OF SO MUCH WIN? ;_______;
insidiaeinsidiae on February 21st, 2008 05:35 am (UTC)
HAHAHA I'VE MADE A MONSTER OUT OF YOU. THIS IS A TRIUMPH! I'M MAKING A NOTE HERE: HUGE SUCCESS alsoI'mbackfromFrancehi.
Andyyytrainreckk on February 21st, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)
AGAFHGA I FUCKING MISSED YOU GTFO OMFG I'M WAKING UP EARLY JUST TO SEE IF I COULD GET A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU OMFG AUDREY IF YOU EVER LEAVE ME AGAIN

I. WILL. KILL. YOU.

And ravish your dead body homg